I'm working with a fellow coach to develop a workshop for couples. We've gone through several working titles so far, and one of them, Radiant Loving, got me thinking… What is Radiant Loving? What does it mean to have Radiant Love in a relationship? And then I started thinking, in what ways do I have radiant love in my relationship?
What is Radiant Love? For me, this is the space of soul-to-soul connection, divine essence-to-essence, where all is unconditionally accepted, and words almost get in the way the connection is so deep. We may be fleetingly conscious of it, but it is always there. In addition to being soul-replenishing, it is a love that radiates out into the world, creating ripples of positive energy, appreciation and joy for those who are touched by it. It is a transformational power.
What does Radiant Love look like? To me, this has us both standing firmly in who we truly are, seeing each other clearly, and being mutually appreciative of our differences and the value these bring to the relationship. It is having a vision of who we are becoming as a couple, and congruence on what our purpose as a couple is – even if we can't articulate it well. It is having a dream of us together – something that we are growing towards. It is having a sense of joy, playfulness, a sense of exploration, and continued renewal and growth. It is having the courage to take action for "us", never giving up; always looking for that "win-win" path that honors each of us. It is knowing that who we are as a couple means something, that we affect those around us, that we are part of a larger picture. It is knowing that no matter how far I travel, I always have a place in the heart of another to call Home.
How do I have this in my life? I'm reminded that this is a journey, not a destination; our ability to play in this space of exploration is what makes our relationship alive. Both of us have the courage to dream bigger, create ourselves a vision, and take what action is needed to make this closer to reality. There is joy in the journey. And there is rubbing up against the parts that are "not that" and navigating through to the other side. A sense of humor and playfulness helps… and even in the messiness of it, we know that deeper joy is a result of our willingness to dream bigger and courageously take steps.
So what does Radiant Love look like for you? Take a moment to dream up your perfectly radiant loving relationship. Take deep breaths and relax into this. What do you see? What values are showing up as important for you in a relationship? What are the values of your partner? How do you see yourself showing up as a partner? What are your dreams? Let this dreaming inform you of your heart's desires.
Now imagine that you have Radiant Love fully and completely in your life. Breathe that in. Allow your heart to completely relax into this space. What does this feel like? What is in this space? What vistas open up for you? What is possible for your life together from this place?
What do you want to do to make this a reality? What do you see that is longing for attention in your relationship? What needs to be nurtured? What is wanting to be added back in? What needs to be calibrated? What can you do to help that happen? Not what changes does your partner need to make… but what do you want to do to shift to a new way of being in your current relationship? Even slight shifts in intention can have a lasting impact.
And here's my wish for you. I want you experience depth of connection and joy in your relationship. I want you to dream together and take courageous steps, no matter how small, to make your dream a reality. I encourage you to share your dream with your partner; share from the perspective of "here's my dream for what we're moving towards", not from the place of "here's what's lacking in our current relationship"! And if you find that this is rocky going for the two of you, call me; that's what I'm here for. I can be a guide as you navigate the sometimes interesting waters of transforming your relationship's Radiant Love.